I've had this post rumbling around in my head for a week or more, but it's time to write it out. Why do we, as Christians - friends of God, knowers of the Lover of our souls, joint heirs to the throne, His children - live dissatisfied lives? Why are we not happy with who and where we are in the here and now? How do we get to realize just who we are in Him, and then be satisfied with our lives on this temporary earth before we meet Him face to face?
I'm sure there are a plethora of answers for this disheartening reality, many more than I can wrap this feeble and discouraged mind around right now. But I think, as I've noticed this more and more in myself and many believers around me, that I'm seeing some of the un-necessary reasons.
As a capital-C church, it seems that we have become very "doer" centered, rather than "listener" centered. And, why not? There are so many people to minister to: so many mouths to feed, broken hearts to mend, bondages to break, lives to encourage, disciples to disciple, calls to affirm, families to piece back together, hearts to steer, people to weep with and rejoice with.... So much to DO. And just when you think you're done, there's much more to turn around and do. Ministry...true, loving, giving Christianity...cannot be wrapped up in nice presentations, completed reports or year-end closures. True Christianity - loving people as Christ - never has an end.
I don't know about you, but I tend to like to start and complete things. And not just complete them, but finish with flair, to the very best of my ability. But how do you do that with the Christian life? The needs of others whom Christ calls us to love never end. And often we just can't "fix them" as we may wish we could. So, many-a-time, we feel as though we are not accomplishing anything, because so few things are actually completed. And so we feel dissatisfied.
But do you know what? Our God is not a God who simply requires achievement. Though He desires that we be doers of the Word, He is a God who first and foremost desires our companionship. COMPANIONSHIP.
How do you make friends - true friends? You do it by investing in them, by being interested in them, by listening to them, by spending time in their presence. True companionship comes from time, vulnerability, trust and belonging.
How can I be God's companion if I spend all of my waking time and energy on ministering, and spend little to no time at his feet? I can't. WHEN I TRY, I BECOME DISSATISFIED WITH LIFE. I can't keep up...I don't have what I wish I had....I don't have the life I wish I had. All of my ministry time is spent looking at the grass on the other side of the fence...looking for the next exciting event to come along. Eventually, I may even come to resent those to whom I minister, though I quelch those feelings, because I know that they are not of Christ.
Does this sound familiar to anyone?
True love for people, true compassion, true contentment with where we are in life, true satisfaction can only be found at the feet of Jesus. And I don't mean our capital-C Church idea of "disciplined"Jesus-time where we allot 15 minutes each morning to the Lord...I mean remaining at His feet. I mean spending more time there than anywhere else. I mean stopping the "doing" until we soak in enough of the Lord's sweet presence to know what the Father is doing, and then going about our Father's business. I mean not being distracted from Him, but being distracted by Him.
This goes against the grain of our capital-C church. I must say that I never learned in Sunday School about being at, or remaining at, Jesus' feet. I never saw that modelled before me in any Christian Community I was a part of before now. But now I'm developing a hunger for Him (Him, not head knowledge about Him) , I'm developing a thirst for Him, I'm growing towards not wanting to leave His feet. And at the same time, I'm finding I'm becoming more satisfied. And the longer I remain with Him, the more I want to be with Him.
So simple. Satisfaction with the here and now...the here and now spent at His feet.
11 comments:
"Does this sound familiar to anyone?"
Did you read what I posted today? I think we might be sharing a brain....time for a visit soon my friend.
Thank You! Elizabeth you always knew exactly what to say exactly when i needed to hear it (or read it in this case).
you have given words to my woes these past...months. It's funny how we can "get" these truths you posted for a while, even a long while, then somehow we find ourselves running all over everywhere again instead of sitting (continually, in spirit) at Christ's feet. Your phrase "be a companion to God" struck me deeply. I long for this to be my life purpose. Why am I dissatisfied? You nailed it: I'm looking ahead to what future ministry holds, instead of being obssessed with my Sweetheart, my Savior, my Lord. This post has stirred up some good realizations for me, but I won't rant on trying to figure them out. I'll go sit with my Companion to do that. Thanks, friend.
This post truly came from one feeling quite dissatisfied. Sometimes when I fail to remain at my Jesus' feet He brings me back with a knock to the side of the head. In this case He showed me that my dissatisfaction was indeed stemming from a void created by my absence. He alone should satisfy me, even when there seems to be nothing of life that that is at all exciting. I am longing to live out this truth! Only alongside my Companion will I.
Much of these same thoughts have been tossing around in my head over the last few weeks too. Now that I have journeyed through with Him and find contentment in WHO I am, WHERE I am, and WHY I am I've been contemplating the next phase of this process. Friendships, and how I make them and the correlation between that and my own companionship with Him. How do I do this with excellence before Him, without becoming distracted and without slipping into the mode of DOING and BEING for everyone else.
I agree with you that as a church we have become very 'doer' centered because the needs of those around us are SO great.
As a woman, as a mom, as a pastor's wife, as as DOER DOER DOER I find it so hard to take time for myself, or to focus on what might me best for ME! (gasp!) And more times than I'd care to admit that has translated into my relationship with Jesus. I put myself on the back burner and then he sits there with me.
It's a balance and a life lesson I desire to perfect - not for the church, not for achievement, but for absolute sustaining contentment. One that is not full of valley's and highs but is never changing.
Thanks for putting words to so many of my thoughts and for giving me more to think about. You are a dear friend.
Wow, You never cease to amaze me.
Oh Elizabeth. I'm not sure if you remember me or not. I went to Bethany. Roni Orser (Corkery) Your father used to be my musice teacher in elementary school :)
Elizabeth...this touched my tear ducts. THis has been my struggle. Why do we find it so hard to sit at the feet of Jesus? Why do we not learn from Mary who sat at Jesus feet? Thank you for this. Can you explain what it means to "sit at the feet of Jesus" where he isn't physically here on earth as a human anymore? That is what i don't know how to do. I often seclude myself and say "Lord i'm here to sit with you" and then sit in the emptiness of the room and think "ok, what now?"
Elizabeth, I enjoy reading your blog and you challenge and inspire me with your close relationship with the Lord. I was wondering if you still have a link to the Christian radio or songs that you used to have a link to. I thought I had linked to Christian music from your blog one time and now I can't seem to find the link in any past posts.
I found allworship.com with non stop worship music online. Don't know if it is what you had that I linked to at one point or not. THanks anyway. Maybe it was even someone's site. :)
i mean someone else's site....
Good observations. I have myself been feeling quite dissatisfied until recently. I felt like I wasn't accomplishing anything and that the more I worked, the harder it was. the result was that I just stepped back from everything I was doing except for what I had to do to justify being on the mission field. I dropped the worship band at my language school, I dropped the youth ministry (which was my baby) and instead just focused on God. And you know what? That's exactly what he wanted!
I think that we as a capital C Church in North America have unfortunately tried to morph the American Dream into the gospel. Just look at the most popular books in recent years, they are all about having a "successful" life or ministry. I think we could learn a great deal from the un-americanized capital C Church outside of the United States and Canada, who are much more fellowship and worship oriented. They recognize that it is not work that will lead to worship, but rather, true worship with our whole lives that will in turn lead us to the work that God has prepared in advance for us to do. Only then will we stop worrying about being "satisfied" and instead be focused on satisfying and glorifying Him.
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